Thankful

I guess, since I now have a blog to keep people posted, it's only fitting that I should update people on the health issues they're praying about. Today's been rough.

For those of you who don't know, I have gastroparesis. That means that my stomach muscles don't pass food along like they should, so food just sits there and, at times, comes back up. So I feel sick all the time, to some degree. My diet has been drastically changed because of this, which I'm getting used to. If I have more than 20 grams of fat per day my system shuts down to take care of it, which gives a whole new meaning to pain. So that's the main problem. I won't get into the others. The next step for me is a feeding tube, but I'm praying against that. I wasn't planning on making this my blog post, but after reading the blog of an acquaintance who's also finding "beauty in ashes," I thought I might as well.

I wanted to write about this tonight because I'm grateful for it. Yes, it's difficult. Honestly, I hate it.

BUT...

I have no regrets. I'm actually getting tearful now, thinking about how amazing God's been through it. It's not easy, but God's never left me. By taking away my physical strength, He's given me His. He's encouraged me, and surrounded me with friends to walk with me and care for me in ways I've never experienced before. I'm so, so grateful. God is SO good. I am clinging to the hope and promise He's given me; one day, He'll dry my tears. One day, I won't be in pain. One day, I'll sit at a banquet in heaven with Him and eat anything, without getting sick, or worrying that I will. I'll be healed.

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified." Isaiah 61:1-3

Amen, Lord. Thank you. If this is how you want to be glorified in me, thank you. I'm honored, and I'm grateful. Help me in my weakness to serve and honor you. Thank you for comforting me, and for your promise to give me beauty for ashes, gladness instead of mourning, and praise instead of a faint spirit. I love you.