Well hello again! Looks like I have to make yet another apology for taking so long to update this blog, but you’ll see how busy I’ve been!
Wow, where to begin? God’s been doing amazing things. When I got here, I asked God to show me things I needed to give to Him. I asked Him to show me strongholds that I’ve kept in my life that need to be destroyed. He’s been faithful! The night that I posted my last entry, I was attacked by a demon in a dream. I fought back, which was apparently a good sign (lots of people don’t fight back and end up being killed in their dreams). That rattled me quite a bit, and made me more fearful, but then God revealed to me that my fear was a foothold that I had given the Enemy, and he was using it! I was living like I was bound, afraid of what I thought Satan could do to me, which is nothing! He can annoy me, but he can’t hurt me. At our Friday night meeting that week, God led another girl to pray for me, specifically for fear and freedom, which I hadn’t asked her for. After that, God gave me a vision of myself sitting in a prison cell, but the door was opened and there were no guards. He said that He had already set me free, I just had to move. After that, I realized that I had unknowingly created a foothold, and I had to give that to Him. So I did. I haven’t had a nightmare since! Not that I’ll never have them again, but now that I’ve recognized fear for what it is, nightmares are no longer the most effective way for me to be attacked. The most effective way has always been through my thoughts, so I’m having to be much more vigilant. I’ve listened to so many lies over the years, so it’s going to be tough to break out of them, but God is faithful! He’s surrounded me with an amazing team who have been faithful to point out the lies (that I had accepted as normalcy) and respond with truth.
Relentless
As I’m sure you all know, we’ve been working day and night on our show! Part of the reason I haven’t blogged since my last post was because I wanted to disclose as few details as possible. If The Tabernacle (the theatre that we were performing in) had known we were Christians, we probably would have been kicked out. Because of how we advertised the show (theatre, live painting and music, aerial acrobatics, and dance), they thought we were a cabaret! ...We let them think that, haha. Chris did try to explain to a woman who worked there that our set up was similar to a cabaret, but there wouldn’t be any nudity, but I guess word had already gotten around and the staff continued to believe that’s what we were. It worked to our advantage in the end, because we were able to surprise them. They couldn’t believe how kind we were to them; the sound guy (who was totally stoned, but he did his job well nonetheless) said that he’s worked there for years and we were the first group that came through and actually made him feel like he was one of us, not just some lackey. Everyone there had a dramatic reaction to us, for better or for worse. One guy started out very friendly, and ended up hating us by the end. One guy started out hating us (he ignored Chris at their first meeting), and ended up liking us. All I can say is that the Holy Spirit was obvious in us. The Tabernacle is currently run by Rastafarians (who run the Notting Hill Carnival every year). A witchcraft ritual was held right before we entered the theatre, and you could still smell the incense. The staff there quickly became aware of Who we brought with us and that created a very strong reaction. Some tried their best to make us fail, but God was with us! We didn’t find out until later, but the guy who helped us set up on Friday was trying to convince our leader to set up less chairs, because we had only sold seventeen tickets. Chris just smiled and told him not to worry, people would come. Sure enough, we had 74 people! The staff said they’d never seen anything like that happen, and they just couldn’t believe it. We were selling tickets right up until the last ten minutes of the show, haha! They really liked us and our show, because we were so different. They want us to come back. We had two standing ovations and an encore! A few friends came from the Leeds base, Oxford, and Brighton to support us, along with the head of YWAM UK! All of them were really impressed and inspired. It was an amazing night, and we give the glory entirely to God! Adele, The Rolling Stones, Bob Marley, Sir Ian McKellan, Colin Firth, Emily Blunt, Amy Winehouse, and more have all performed in this important theatre, so it was such a privilege to join those ranks with an even more important production. How amazing is it that God wants to break through in London with art?
Let me give you a brief history on The Tabernacle, just so you know what we were dealing with, now that you’ve heard about our experience there. It began out of rebellion, really. It was established as an “alternative Protestant” church in 1869, meaning it wanted to separate itself from the Church of England and do it’s own thing. Under the right motivations, there would be nothing wrong with that, but this church quickly became corrupt and had to close down. For a while, it was a Chinese temple. Eventually it became a community center, which agreed to host a church. However, they kicked the church out. The year they kicked the church out, they went bankrupt. Four years later, when they finally reopened, our team’s leaders came to London to start Taboo Arts. Great timing, eh?
This theatre was a demonic stronghold (as you probably inferred from the witchcraft that I mentioned went on there). It affected a lot of us physically, and we could tell that we really shook up some things when we began to rehearse there. However, our performing there was God’s idea (He directed our leaders there when they had intended to have us perform somewhere else). He wanted to break the strongholds in that place. Our show was prophetic and historic in that no Christian theatre company has EVER performed on the London stage...until Friday night, when we performed. We opened the doors, and I really can’t wait to see what happens! Being there was a dream come true, and such a testimony for what God can do. Six months ago, all I knew was that God was calling me to be an actress in London. I didn’t know how, I just thought I’d come over here and start knocking on doors, hoping to act SOMEWHERE in SOMETHING. Now, I’m a working actress in London who has performed on an important stage, but more importantly, I’m a daughter of God who is using her gifts as tools and weapons to further God’s kingdom in London. I feel so blessed! My dreams were so much smaller than His! Glory to God!
Evangelism
Funny story. The pastor of an Indian church called our leader about three weeks ago to ask us to come and do evangelism with them in the city using the arts. Because we were so busy with the show, Chris was unable to get back to him. The pastor called three times, but we were rehearsing day and night, so we were unable to connect with him. So what did this pastor do? Naturally, he showed up on our doorstep unannounced one morning with a friend to take us to do evangelism with him! We were all very surprised, but after talking with them, Chris organized us all very quickly to go and work with them for the next three days, cutting our rehearsal time in half. I know that sounds like lunacy, but I really admire the wisdom in that decision. He said that in the midst of such a stressful process, it’s easy to “get into our belly buttons” (in other words, have an inward focus instead of an outward one), and it’s important to keep building the kingdom while we work. So for three days we handed out a well-made newspaper that the church had made while performing music in the streets and having some of the dancers walk around on stilts with streamers.
I know I shouldn’t have been, but I was a bit surprised by the level of hatred that was directed towards some of us. It was almost like Jesus had come down, personally destroyed people’s lives, and then abandoned them. To some, that’s probably exactly how they felt. That certainly seemed to be the case for one man I spoke to. One of the things that struck me about our conversation was how opposed he was to Jesus, and yet he couldn’t tear himself away from what we were doing. He kept staring at the stilt walkers and at the musicians. He stayed for a long time, just listening to our music. When they began playing (“Open the Eyes of My Heart,” I think it was), he said the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He was so fascinated and moved by a song we sing all the time in church! It wasn’t anything major, not an opus or some complicated symphony, just a church song that the guys were playing on the street with their guitars and drums. It had to be the Spirit, and I pray that he gives Jesus another chance.
I’m not good at evangelizing on the street. I don’t like approaching strangers and striking up a conversation about their faith when so many of them hate Christians (especially when most of the people walking past are Muslims). I feel like I don’t even have a chance. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? I don’t have a chance. God has every chance. Many of us aren’t comfortable doing this, especially when people get antagonistic or try to see what they can get from us. But it’s not about us. So what if we get rejected? At least we’ve tried. It’s up to God to make a difference in their lives, but we have to be faithful to try. One story that stuck out to me happened on a day that I wasn’t even there. I had a doctor appointment that morning, so I heard about this afterward (and I’m sure that I’m doing a terrible job trying to recall this story, but here it is), but Chris spoke with a Muslim man who asked quite a lot of questions. He wanted to debate with Chris, but after a while, God told Chris, “This man is sick, and he hasn’t told anyone. Tell him that if he decides to follow me today that I’ll heal him.”
So Chris said, “Look, we could talk about this all day. You know two books, I know half of one. But I’ll tell you something else I know: you’re sick.” The man’s eyes widened in shock, and Chris continued. “I have no way of knowing that, but God told me. And He told me that if you follow Him today He will heal you.” And the man hesitated for a moment, clearly debating this life and the next, and the potentials of each. But he said no, and left. I keep praying that someday, after a doctor’s appointment when he reaches yet another wall, that he remembers God and makes a decision for Him.
You all know that I’ve struggled with digestive issues for years. It’s so much better than it was, but it’s still a struggle. I mentioned in passing after evangelism one day that I would probably always have food allergies and a weak digestive system, and my team mates reacted as if I’d said something like “God doesn’t exist,” which, now that I think about it, is essentially the subtext of such mistrust. Why can’t God heal me? He can if He wants to. So I decided to stop accepting the lie that food allergies are so common that God wouldn’t bother to heal them (especially after how far He’s brought me). I told God that from then on I (and my team mates) wouldn’t stop asking for complete healing until He gave it to me, even if it’s not until I see Him face to face.
I will be healed.
And I’m going to ask for the gift of healing as well, because I know what it is to be chronically ill. On the second day of evangelism I began to seek out people who were sick (there were A LOT of them) and ask if I could pray for them. I prayed for healing, but mostly I prayed that their hearts would be encouraged. As tough as it’s been, being chronically ill was (is) a gift. So few people understand how frustrating and isolating it is to have doctors give up on you, to live in constant pain without relief, to hit dead end after dead end, and to not be able to live like others. I understand that, and if nothing else, I want to encourage someone. I’m not going to waste those years that God gave me.
On Thursday we leave to go on outreach to Amsterdam and Lyon. We’ll be partnering with the YWAM bases there to do intercession, evangelism, street performing, and arts workshops with both YWAM teams and inner city youth. In Amsterdam, their base is right outside of the red light district, so we’ll be doing a lot of intercession there, I think. I have a feeling my life is about to change even more! We’ll be gone for three weeks. I look forward to updating you. ;-)
Prayer Request
As soon as I get back from Outreach on April 10th, I’m going to start a Discipleship Training School. This will be three months of lectures on everything from Hearing God, to Spiritual Gifts, to Inner Healing and Deliverance, to doing Spiritual Battles, and more. This school is absolutely necessary to my staying here with the Taboo Arts team as a staff member. I’ll need $4,000 to attend, which will cover room, board, and materials (it will still be in London, only a fifteen minute walk from my current house, but I’ll be moving into the DTS house for this time of training). Please, please pray about supporting me. It’s so hard for me to raise money so far away, but God is faithful. You have no idea how much I’ve appreciated your support, financial or otherwise. Please pray about supporting me for this next phase. I am not allowed to work on my particular visa, so I am entirely supported by “viewers like you,” haha.
Please pray for our team as we go on Outreach. Please pray for the hearts of those we’ll encounter, and that the Spirit will move. We want to be sensitive to Him, and we know He dreams bigger than we do. We want to take risks for Him.
And hey, while you’re at it, please pray for healing! Take that step of faith with me. :)
Until next time,
I remain yours in Christ.
