Week One!

     Hi friends!

     Wow, what a week! I feel like too much has happened for me to write about in one post! Let me start out by saying that I am well and happy. My team is incredible, and they truly are my family. We started working on our show in earnest today and it's going well, if a bit piecemeal at the moment. It's going to be amazing! More on that in another post. ;) 

     Our house is FANTASTIC. It's like a living work of art. Our director, Christian, is a visual artist, so his work is everywhere, making the house look like an art gallery. I thought it might be cramped, living in an English townhouse with 15 people, but it's not bad! We've arranged our bathroom schedules, we keep this place absolutely spotless, we have a cooking rotation, and we get along really well. It's a very relaxed atmosphere, and everyone is extremely kind and attentive. They put a lot of emphasis on the fact that we're a family now, and I'd have to say that's true. They have been there for me in incredible ways already. In my greatest need, they've been there to pray for me, encourage me, to stop what we're doing and once again lay something before the Lord, to cancel plans and take me out to talk about what's bothering me, and to question me when they feel that I'm really struggling with something. It makes sense, when we're all the family we have in this part of the world and when we live and work together every day, but also (perhaps especially) because we're under attack so often. In very real ways, it's like being in a war zone. 

     Many of you have asked how you can pray. Please pray against warfare. It's attacked my emotions mostly, but it's also attacked my teammates in the form of nightmares and illness. You can tell the internship has started, because our house is heavy. So many complications have arisen all at once. My concept of how dark it is here was so dim compared to the reality that hit me full-force the day I arrived. This is not the London I visited (because now I'm here on God's mission and, obviously, the Enemy hates that), but I still love it here enough to fight for it. I'm grateful that the Lord has placed me here, and I'm so humbled and honored to be His hands and feet in this area. In the 1970's, when YWAM started, about 60 YWAM-ers came to London. 4 years later, all but 10 had left. They said, "never again." London was so, so dark (and still is). So when my team came out here, no one thought they would last. Well, we're 4 years into it and growing, praise God! I heard that many London YWAM-ers wish they'd been sent to the East...it would be easier there. The people in the East are much more open. Their churches grow. Here, we can barely bring up Jesus, or church. People are very closed. The churches shrink. Our church, for example, had about 200 people 10-15 years ago. This past Sunday we had about 20 people, plus our team. I hope to see that number grow, but we'll see. Fortunately (amazingly), God's been calling people here (and to other parts of Western Europe) to specifically use the arts as a means of reaching the populace. How AWESOME is it that our God loves the arts and chooses to use them to save His people? Amazing. It takes my breath away.

     On Saturday, Christian gave us a bit of a tour through the areas we'll mainly be ministering to. Brace yourself, friends.

     Camden Town

     Chris led us to the Camden Lock, then briefed us on what we were about to see. Years ago, before there were trains, horses used to drag boats up and down the canal as a means of quick transportation. They were kept in enormous brown brick stables that became cheap housing and a marketplace after the horses were destroyed (when the trains were invented, they DROWNED all of the horses in the canal). All the famous musicians from Pink Floyd to Nirvana have taken up residence there over the years because of the cheap housing the stables became. There's also a venue there now for artists to present their work, a bar, a strip club, etc. Every nationality and religion is represented, as well as every kind of low life crime you can imagine. This place is actually very trendy, and it was easy to see why. Christian said that they (he and his wife) feel that God has a real heart for this community because it is so depraved, and yet so creative. Right now, Satan has an incredible grip on it. Chris said that it wasn't a place for us to meander through and admire, we had to go in ready to fight (spiritually). Then he led us across the street to the old brown brick stables.

     Crossing the threshold was like entering an alternate universe. I felt like I'd seen versions of it in movies and they were always the parts I didn't like. Like the time the kids in Mary Poppins were grabbed in the alley, pretty much any alleyway scene in Oliver, and loud clubs with futuristic themes. All of that, plus many, many nations, music, and food all rolled into one. It's exciting, if you're not a Christian. It's vibrant and exotic, and the atmosphere is really cool. It looks awesome, except for the fact that we knew what was really going on. I could barely keep it together. Chris led us all through it, down underground to a club-like shop filled with neon and loud music and lights and everything. The people that worked there looked out of this world (literally, they looked very futuristic), but you could tell there was something wrong with them. They had an incredibly dark presence, and their eyes looked, for lack of better words, haunted and pained. Trapped. There was a sex shop down there too, but he didn't lead us down there, lol. He led us up and out again and then through the stalls that sold absolutely every kind of exotic, strange, steampunk, religious (except Christian), funky stuff you can imagine. Some stuff I even liked, but I'm not sure if I'd trust anything from there. Then he stopped us in front of a hair shop.


     Basically, that hair shop is the stronghold. It's Satanic. You can only go in there with an appointment, and they perform witchcraft. They do voodoo, and weave the hair of the dead that their customers' bring into their customers' hair. I recognized samples of their work down in that club-looking shop underground. So…it's a really bad place. And he also pointed out the statues. There are statues everywhere of the horses that used to be stabled there, but they're not of the horses in their prime, it's in their DEATH. London has tons of art of horses, but they're always noble and proud. The horses in Camden were drowning and terrified in their statues. I'm guessing they wanted to give them some sort of memorial, but that's quite a morbid, dark way to do it. There are also statues of the prostitutes that used to work there (and still do) holding up the iron gazebos. And there's a statue of a woman covered in snakes (not like Medusa, a modern statue of a woman wrapped in snakes). Another teammate leaned over and joked, "are you excited now?" He laughed, but I know what he meant. It's exciting, the work we're doing, but it's overwhelming and so, so hard. We're up against forces that I've never encountered before in this way and in this force. This teammate and I even felt a bit sick, which happens a lot to this team when they go into really dark places like that. They've passed out, been overwhelmed by migraines...scary stuff. I feel like I'm stumbling over my words trying to describe this place, because there're just no words to convey how defeated and empty I felt. It's a very emotional place for me. It's an almost tangibly dark place. I'm excited to be a part of stopping that, but at the moment I'm having a hard time imagining going back there so often and fighting so hard for a place that is so, SO lost. Two other teammates were at home resting in preparation for working with the harnesses that night for their aerial dance work, and when we got home one of them told us that when we were in Camden they felt really heavy and dark; they were affected just by us being there. We go there every Friday at 11:00 AM. Please pray for us, and for those we're ministering to. It's a long process that doesn't often show results. We're basically just praying over it and sowing seeds, trusting that God will redeem it one day.

     The Masons

     I know, this sounds crazy, right? If you were here, you'd understand. Their symbols are absolutely everywhere. We're not just up against witchcraft (though that's a HUGE, HUGE issue here. You know the London Eye? It gets rented out for Satanic rituals. Whee-ha), we're up against the Masons too. I almost laughed when Chris told me, but he was really serious. I explained (and my fellow American backed me up, but she's been here longer so this was all old news to her) that back home the Masons were a club that old men were a part of (we know it's BAD, but a major Satanic force in London?). In America, it's considered an honorable, elite club that people take pride in. I even told him about my old government teacher in high school, and how proud he was of his membership. Chris agreed that that's how they're often seen, but that's what they want you to think. I joked about it being like the first Sherlock Holmes movie and the witchcraft there in London, but he said that was real. From the layout of the city, to its strategic areas, to Masons being involved in Parliament, to the Satanic rituals, everything. I did a bunch of research when I got home and was able to verify a lot of this. He said that they backed the movie because they wanted everyone to discredit them. Creepy... Apparently they've been getting a lot of heat lately from their secretive ways, especially in London. And of course, in National Treasure they're portrayed as heroes. My American friend pointed out too that all of our presidents have been Masons…except for Lincoln and Kennedy. President Obama's not either, but she didn't think they'd allow him because his father's Kenyan. George Washington was a higher-echelon Mason (I saw a portrait of him in his Masonic robes), and apparently it was his idea to have the Masonic symbol on our $1 bills. Even our Constitution has Masonic stuff, apparently. Chris didn't think I should be surprised because Washington did a lot of really bad things, and being a Mason fits. They want to have global influence, and they've done a frighteningly good job of it. Camden, for instance, was the place where they took England's stolen treasure. You know, from all the nations they conquered as an Imperial country. They kept all the riches there, in Camden. Then, Camden had the first train, the first bus, etc. They led the way into the future. Now, on the train line, there's an HSBC bank (which has Masonic symbols). There's a pub across the street there too that's Masonic, but I don't remember the name. The grid of the city leads to major Masonic sites. I mentioned that London was founded by Romans and the roads were based on their grid, and Chris reminded me that London burned. After the Great Fire, the Masons (with their tremendous wealth and influence) were able to reconstruct the roads and the monuments to create landmarks. He later took us to see the greatest Freemason site in London (perhaps the world. The UK is apparently a HUGE Mason place. I thought it was just America, but America has only a fraction. The Masons were such a concern here that the government tried to have all of the ones in Parliament and the Police identified, but they stopped their investigation). I found out through my online research that that building has the famous "Black Room," "Red Room," and "Room of Death." It towers over the surrounding buildings so that they can see everything (another use for the London Eye).  So…quite a shock. I hadn't expected to be up against that particular group, but their signs are everywhere. Chris was going to show us the ones at Parliament, but it started to rain by the end of our trip. I know how "conspiracy theory" all of that sounds, but if you could see it all you might change your mind. In any case, it's something else for us to fight. 

     Soho

     This is the red light district. My American friend took me through it around 6:00 PM on Monday just so I could get a more gentle introduction to the area before we begin our 10:00 PM ministry there on Fridays. The first thing I saw was a giant neon sign for table dancing, followed by cat calls at us as we walked past two guys on the sidewalk. We couldn't help but laugh, because it was such a "welcome to Soho" moment, but honestly, it's a heartbreaking area. It's smack dab in the middle of Leicester Square, near the Queen's theatre where I saw "Les Miserables" with some friends in May, so I knew exactly where we were, I just hadn't been to Soho. I saw all kinds of advertisements for prostitution; pretty much every doorway was an entrance to a brothel. As you can imagine, human trafficking is rampant there. My friend is a brilliant photographer and plans to do a series of photographs focusing on the women trapped in this way of life and posting them all over Notting Hill to draw attention to it (most people like to pretend it doesn't exist). We entertain at a Soho coffeehouse one Saturday a month, when they have an open mic night.

     We also walked through Seven Dials, which used to be quite a dodgy area as well. Now it's more trendy and part of the theatre district, but it was still difficult to walk through. There are lots of people in need there. 

     As you can see, there's quite a lot going on here. It's incredibly painful, and a teammate was faithful to remind me that I probably won't see results. We sow seeds...rarely do we see the harvest. Now I really know what it means to put my hand to the plough. I'm praying for the Lord's compassion, His words, His understanding and wisdom, and to see the beauty in the broken. You know what encourages me the most? 

     God hasn't given up on London.

     God is intent on saving it, and that gives me great reason for hope! Yes, it will be difficult and painful, but God is working. He's bringing people here with the express purpose of working to save this city, and we all know that what He sets out to do He accomplishes. Our team has already had incredible doors opened to us here (more on that in another post), doors that could not have been opened without His command. 

     As I walked through Camden that night, fighting back tears, I told God, "you had better let me see results. I don't want to go through all of this pain for nothing." I know, cheeky right? How audacious of me. *shakes head*
     I'm so grateful to have an understanding Father who replied, "It doesn't matter if you see results or not. What matters is that you live your life serving me. That is enough." 

And He was right. 

My Story

     I’ve put off writing this entry for a long time, just because I didn’t know what to say. Some wise friends of mine have been encouraging me to tell my story, the story that led me to London. I just never knew where to start. I see now that God has been leading me there all my life, but the pieces never came together until now. 

     I’ve loved England since I was very little. Back then it was the place where stories came from. It was the place where people spoke with a lovely accent and where kings, queens, and castles still existed. It still is. 

     As I got older I began to study English history and read English literature with more purpose as the pieces of one story became intertwined with another. I began to memorize the royal lines and the stories of the hardy men and women who tried to make England a memorable and influential isle that belied its size. I read English novelists, poets, and playwrights that gave voices to those whose voices weren’t being heard, or who simply wove an interesting story for the sake of art and entertainment. Most of my favorite actors are English, so that led me to study their theatre history in a more engaged manner; as an actress, it’s important to study the greats, and most of them come from England (our own theatre history doesn’t go back that far). 

     I remember thinking when I was younger, “could I ever move to England?...NOOOO, I would NEVER be brave enough for that!” Ha. I don’t feel like bravery has much to do with it. Not from myself, anyway. I feel called there, and when God calls you everything else comes into place. 

     In January of 2011 I began my Masters in Theatre at Regent University. I realized that this was the last leg of my education, and I needed to decide where I was going to go once I graduated. I had to use my degree, and Virginia Beach, VA would be very difficult place to make a living as an actress. So I turned over the usual possibilities in my mind: Chicago...no. New York...no. Los Angeles...no. Then I felt that still, small voice whisper an option I hadn’t really considered:

     London. 

     That was the only city I felt a peace about going to, and I wondered why I’d never considered that before. It’s in ENGLAND, after all! And what better place to pursue theatre than the West End? One can reach several auditions in a day thanks to their handy-dandy tube system, and there’s plenty of work because the theatre, television, and film industries are all thriving in and around the city itself. So, that’s when I started looking into moving to London.

     I was given the opportunity a few weeks later to actually visit London myself with my British family (dear friends of mine from church) who were going back to England that summer to visit their family. We’d always talked about my joining them to visit England, and the time had finally come! Visiting England that summer only confirmed my growing desire to move there. It was everything I thought it would be and more. It was home. 

     So I began to pursue applications for London drama schools. To me, that seemed the natural option after getting American training. I passed the preliminaries for each one, and was even asked to fly to London for an audition at RADA, which I did. However, I did not get accepted to any of the schools, so I took that as a sign that God wanted to move me on in life...I’d been in school long enough. 

     After that I didn’t know what to do, I just knew that I had to get to London somehow. I knew I was being called there, but to what? Work visas had become even more difficult to come by in 2012, so that was a problem. Then, I had a conversation about all of this with the wife of one of my old pastors and she mentioned that YWAM had a performing arts team in London. I had considered YWAM before, but I had no idea they had a performing arts team! So I looked into them right away, and immediately had to blink back the tears that sprang into my eyes because of how perfectly their vision matched my own. 

     TABOO Arts (so named because of how Christ has become taboo in today’s culture) is situated in Notting Hill, London -- a place that holds more artists per square mile than all of Western Europe put together. They understand that London is the key to Western Europe, and it (along with the rest of Europe) has been largely ignored by many Christians because they assume that they are already Christian nations, or at least have access to good churches. 

     Wrong.

     After the Age of Enlightenment, many frustrated missionaries abandoned Western Europe in favor of bringing the Gospel to the East, and to unreached locales. Of course that’s important, and VERY necessary, but the assumption that Europe has no need of missionaries has led to a desperate need in that part of the world. There are hard hearts there, but also cries for help. One of most effective ways to reach such a society is through something they’ll recognize and accept: the arts. Enter the TABOO Arts team, and several others like them sprinkled across Western Europe. 

     As I studied more about their team I was struck by how relevant they are! My teammates participate in everything from art galleries, to music cafes, to the Notting Hill Carnival and the Opening Ceremonies of the London Olympics! These are like-minded Christians that know how powerful the arts are as tools to share the Gospel. This team is making an impact in their community, shining as a light in the darkness, and using the arts to do so! Needless to say, I’m excited to join them. My teammates are incredibly kind and have made every effort to make sure that I have everything I need to join them. Even early on in the application process they were constantly looking for ways to come alongside me in prayer. I couldn’t feel more blessed! 

     I’m only a day away from the move, and I still can’t believe it. The doors flew open for this job, and it’s doing what I love in my favorite city in the world. I’m going to act. In London. And tour Europe with our performances. And make a real, effective effort to reach the lost in one of the darkest parts of the world. *pinches self* Again, I couldn’t feel more blessed. This post is too long already without me sharing every single step that’s led me to London, but that’s a summary of it. I hope it’s been encouraging! God provides everything we need. He prepares us completely, right down to the last detail, which for me included getting the first clean bill of health that I can remember and heading overseas with British Pounds in my pocket from some generous friends. He cares about the details, friends. Not only does He care about them, He plans them. What an awesome God we serve, and I can’t wait to share about all that He does in London!

Until next time, 

Cheers!